YOU ARE ALLOWED TO CHANGE YOUR MIND

No garden stays the same forever. Zinnias thrive in the summer and fade in the fall. Peonies may look lifeless in the winter but burst back to life in the spring. And just like a garden, we are meant to change with the seasons of our lives. You are allowed to outgrow old dreams, replant new ones, and embrace the natural evolution of who you are becoming. Simply put, you are allowed to change your mind about anything. This is your life—live it for you.

I used to believe that once I chose a path, I had to stick with it. Growing up in poverty, my goal was simple. I wanted to get out and make money. I remember being asked by a school counselor what I wanted to study in college and what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. At just 17, I decided I would pursue a career that offered stability and a good salary. I wanted to have it all, a house, a family, and a successful career as an accountant. And so, I went to college, earned my degree in accounting, and set out to build the stable future I had envisioned.

Looking back, it baffles me that as kids, we are expected to decide the course of our entire lives before we have even had the chance to experience the world. Many people follow that course, only to feel unfulfilled and unhappy, often experiencing what some call a midlife crisis. This typically occurs between the ages of 35 and 50, but the timing is not what matters. What matters is why it happens. After years of staying on the path we chose as children, we begin to question our identity and purpose. We start to wonder, is this all there is? I did everything I was told to do. I followed the path society laid out for me. So why am I still unhappy?

My path was like a road with many detours, where I let the voices of others steer me off course at times. But over time, I found my way back to the road I had always intended to travel, reaching the destination I envisioned as a child. At 35, I finally began my career as an accountant. And after a year in the honeymoon phase, I found myself feeling unfulfilled and unhappy.

But here’s the twist: before becoming an accountant, I ran my own business for four years. I had tasted what it was like to live life on my own terms, and now I realize how much I miss it. I don’t miss the hustle of the business, but I miss the freedom it gave me. Lately, I’ve felt like a butterfly trapped in a jar, longing to spread my wings again. When I had my business, I wasn’t working to make someone else’s dreams come true or helping line the pockets of the rich. I was building something of my own. My custom sugar cookie business went through a couple evolutions, but at its core, it was about joy, three-inch, cookie-shaped pockets of happiness shared with our customers.

Now, I find myself reliving that part of my life through words. I am proud of what I built with my husband, Armando, and it will always be part of the kaleidoscope that is me. Still, I sometimes feel like a failure for closing the business. Some dreams—like opening a bakery—still live in my heart. Who knows? Maybe one day, I’ll bring that dream to life in a different way, like writing a book where the protagonist is a baker. But I’m learning that it’s okay to change course. It’s okay to let go of dreams that no longer fit the person you’re becoming.

That’s the thing about life, it’s always evolving, whether we like it or not. The things we once wanted may no longer fit the version of ourselves we’ve grown into. It’s like holding onto a pair of jeans that no longer fit, squeezing into them even though they’re uncomfortable, when really, we should just accept that they don’t fit anymore and buy a new pair.

This reminds me of my first career path, moving into management at Starbucks. I started working there right after high school, just as a job to get me through college. But somehow, I stayed for eight years. I hated working as a store manager, but I loved the people I met. Hell, I even met my husband at Starbucks, so it will always hold a place in my heart.

Back then, I was a huge people-pleaser. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone, so I kept pushing through, even when I was miserable. It took a pivotal moment—losing my cousin—to reshape my perspective on life. Grief hit me like a storm, and within weeks, I made a decision: I quit. Without a plan. Without knowing what came next. I walked into a temp agency, took the first full-time job they offered me, and ended up in an office job at a logistics company.

I found myself climbing yet another corporate ladder, only to feel unfulfilled once again. Looking back, it makes sense, I never chose this path; I simply ended up on it. But this time, quitting without a plan wasn’t an option, I had a family to support. So, I did what I knew best: I pushed through. Yet deep down, I craved something more, something that felt like me. That’s when I stumbled upon an unexpected passion. What started as a creative escape, baking cookies for my family, soon became the spark that reignited something within me. Before I knew it, that passion had transformed into a business, and I took the biggest leap of my life: leaving my stable job to bet on myself.

I was living the dream, at least, my version of it. Then, the Covid-19 pandemic hit, changing everything for the world and for us. As always, I adapted, navigating challenges and finding new ways forward. My husband and I poured everything into the business, and I’m incredibly proud of what we built. In 2021, we were even fortunate enough to buy a home.

The reality was, I worked 24/7, no weekends off, no paid vacations, just constant hustle. I was exhausted. Burnout, coupled with an anxiety disorder I developed, made me start resenting the business. Eventually, I had to make a choice: keep pushing through as my mental health deteriorated or step away. For the first time, I chose to prioritize my well-being.

I began my career as an accountant because I needed stability to focus on my health. Over the past couple of years, I found joy in two unexpected places: gardening and romantic fantasy fiction books. Both have brought a sense of joy I never knew I was missing.

It took a mental breakdown just five months ago for me to realize that I am in charge of my life, and if I wanted something different, it was up to me to make it happen. I’ve come to understand that I am a creative, curious, and passionate person. I don’t believe I was meant to spend my days sitting at a desk, working to help someone else’s dreams come true while mine are put on hold. While I will continue working as an accountant for now, I am ready to pursue my next dream of becoming an author.

Looking back, I realize that every twist, detour, and change of heart was necessary. Each experience, from climbing corporate ladders to running my own business, shaped me into the person I am today. For so long, I thought changing my mind meant failing, but I see now that it meant growth. We are not meant to stay the same forever, and that’s okay.

Life is too short to stay stuck in something that no longer fits. Just as life evolves, so do you. What once felt right may no longer serve you, and that’s okay. Changing your mind isn’t failure, it’s self-awareness and courage in action. If you feel the pull toward something new, take this as your sign to start, no matter how small the step. You owe it to yourself to pursue the life that truly fulfills you.