Migraine

When the Body Speaks: A Morning of Migraine and Anxiety

Today was not a normal day.
I woke up to the obnoxious blare of my alarm, and instinctively reached over to snooze it. But as I glanced at my phone, I realized I couldn’t see clearly. My eyes felt foggy, but I chalked it up to the usual morning grogginess.

I dragged myself out of bed and slipped into my workout clothes, all while blinking repeatedly to try and clear the blur from my vision. It was as I pulled on my sports bra that I noticed the shimmering patterns in my eyes. The unmistakable aura—something I’d only ever seen before a migraine.

It can’t be, I thought. I’ve only been awake for two minutes. How could this be happening now?

I stood still for a moment, trying to make sense of it. My whole energy shifted as the truth hit me: I wouldn’t be working out today.

As I made my way downstairs, a wave of disappointment washed over me. Not because my body couldn’t handle the workout, but because my mind needed it. Lately, I’ve been fighting hard to change my thought patterns, trying to rewire the negative self-talk and make space for positivity and joy. Skipping this workout felt like a setback in that battle.

Walking into the kitchen, I saw Armando preparing his pre-workout meal, and it was then that I fully accepted my fate. I wouldn’t be working out, and I needed to spend the next hour and a half in silence and darkness, ice on my head, trying to calm the storm inside my skull.

I could already feel the pull of my workplace looming ahead—the office where I spend most of my days, staring at a computer screen and feeling small.

I laid down on the couch, my mind wandering to the dark places I’ve been struggling to escape. For an hour and a half, I lived within the walls of my own thoughts, each one heavier than the last.

After that, I showered, dressed, and did my best to look the part of someone who had it together. A cute outfit, minimal makeup, and some scrunched hair—it was my version of a mood boost. I may have felt like garbage, but at least I looked cute. If this is the worst thing I face today, I’ll be okay, I told myself. Think happy thoughts, Christina.

Little did I know, my morning was only the beginning. A few hours into the day, I had an all-consuming anxiety attack at my desk. I won’t go into details, but the day was a mess. Looking back, I think my body was trying to tell me something when I woke up—something was off, something had to change.

Change scares me, but staying in the same place, full of negativity? That scares me even more.

And remember, think happy thoughts!