Issue No. 7 | Take Up Space
Writing updates, horror recs, and a visual peek into my book
A quick note…. This issue is going out a few days late and was written before the 13th. Thank you for your patience.
From the Shadows
Happy Friday the 13th again! How lucky are we to get two of them back to back. I still can’t believe we’re already in March.
It’s the time of year when dormant plants like tulips and daffodils start poking out of the ground. They rested most of the year, and now they show up and take up space without apology for the next couple of months. There’s something powerful about that kind of quiet confidence. They play an important role as the first signs of spring. After five or six months of cold and snow in Chicago, even the smallest hint of life brings me joy.
March is also a time to celebrate women, although let’s be real, we deserve to be celebrated every day. We literally birthed every single person on this planet. How we were ever convinced that women are the weaker gender still baffles me. I mean, have we looked at the state of the world run by men? Okay, I’m not going to get all “angry feminist Stina” here… or am I? Either way, this month’s newsletter is a little love letter to women.
I grew up around women who held men on a pedestal and treated them like kings. Some grown men I know still can’t even get up and serve themselves dinner. I witnessed men behave horribly and treat women terribly, yet no matter what they did, they were forgiven and almost worshipped. Thinking about it still makes my blood boil.
Now, as an almost forty-year-old woman, I understand why this happened. It’s a cycle, one we continue to teach little girls every day. Women were taught to stay quiet, not take up space, and to serve. To take care of everyone else except themselves. We were literally bred to be people pleasers.
As we get older we’re faced with two paths. We either continue the cycle, or we say fuck that and reclaim our power. We take up space unapologetically. But here’s the kicker, even when we want a bigger life, or just one where we make the rules and live on our terms, the systems around us are designed to keep us small.
Most women are just trying to survive. The thought of pursuing something purely for ourselves doesn’t always feel like an option. To those women, I see you. And I plead: please start to prioritize self-care, even if it’s just twenty minutes a day. Do something just for you and no one else. I truly believe that if more women saw their own beauty and power, we would be unstoppable.
I’ve been lucky to find a partner who not only views me as an equal but supports me and cheers me on in all my dreams and endeavors. But the people pleaser still runs deep in me.
That is why I continue to write. I’m on a mission to show up as my authentic self.
A lot of my writing, including my book, circles a few recurring themes: gardening, identity, and women reclaiming their power. At the end of last year I kept telling myself I needed to keep writing to find my voice. But the truth is, I already have one. I just need to lean into it more.
To all the women reading this, let’s prioritize self-care (it’s not selfish) and take up space unapologetically and authentically.
The Monster Grows (Book Progress Update)
🩸 Progress so far: 70,927 words
🎃 Milestone: Finishing the first draft
🕯️ Biggest challenge: Accepting the final word count for draft one
I finished the first draft of my novel about a month ago. It still doesn’t feel real whenever I say or type those words. I’m incredibly proud of myself for showing up day after day, even when I didn’t want to. Writing a book takes time, and while my timeline was a bit lopsided, I enjoyed the process.
It took a total of ten months to finish the first draft. Six months to finish Act I and four months to finish the rest. In other words, it took me six months to fully believe in myself and take myself seriously as a writer. Once I embraced the concept of a shitty first draft and committed to focusing only on the book while sticking to a realistic writing schedule, I started to see small consistent results.
The biggest challenge toward the end was accepting the final word count. My goal was 80,000 words, and I realized I wasn’t going to hit that when I was almost at the last chapter and still about 10k short. I can sometimes get fixated on metrics as proof of achievement and worth, so I was beating myself up for not hitting that target. Writing my first book taught me some hard lessons and even revealed new things about myself. For example, I learned that I’m more of a pantser than a plotter. As someone who struggles with anxiety and usually likes to know the plan, this one shocked me.
As I came to the end of the story, I finally understood what so many authors say about draft one. This is the draft where you’re telling yourself the story. I didn’t fully see the big picture until I reached the end. I don’t know what the final story will look like after all the revisions, but I’m beyond excited to dive back in. I love the heart of this story, and I can’t wait to share it with all of you.
A Bloom of Terror
Every month, I’ll plant a little horror here. Sometimes it will be a short fiction story, other times a personal essays.
The Haunted Shelf 📚🎬📺
This is where I’ll share book, movie, and show recommendations. I’d love to know what you’re reading and watching, so feel free to reply with your own favorites.
This month’s recommendations all center around women and the different battles we face every day. Each story explores power, control, and what happens when a woman starts to question the role the world expects her to play.
📚 The Book – Credenza
A pink horror book by Wendy Dalrymple. It was my first time reading this genre and I loved it. On the surface, it’s about a haunted heirloom and family secrets. But I really connected with the deeper themes of generational trauma and the fear of inheriting mental health struggles from your parents. Wanting to protect your child from it at all costs, but realizing you have to stop avoiding it and face it head on, because only then can you begin to heal. I can’t wait to read more from this author.
🎬 The Movie – Rosemary’s Baby
Rosemary’s Baby is a masterpiece. It’s the type of movie that will live rent free in your head for a while, at least it has for me. It’s a psychological horror movie with occult and folk horror elements. The film was released in 1968, but it still holds up today. The acting and visuals are great. It’s also a great example of how women, still to this day I might add, do not have full autonomy over their own bodies and how we are often gaslit and not taken seriously. I can’t speak highly enough about this movie. If you haven’t seen it and like occult psychological horror, run and watch it.
📺 The Show – Agatha All Along
This show leans more into fantasy horror, which is a sweet spot for me. It explores themes like generational trauma, motherhood, grief, identity, queerness, chosen family, and it has one hell of an anti-hero. And if there’s one thing I love, it’s a good anti-hero. (Another MCU favorite of mine is Loki.) There are supernatural and witchcraft elements, which again I LOVE. It’s safe to say this is one of my favorite MCU shows, and the vibe of it definitely sparked some inspiration while I was writing my book. The cast is mostly women and they are all fucking fantastic. The visuals were perfection. If I could go sit and write on the Witch’s Road, I absolutely would.
From My Creative Crypt
This is my little corner for fun extras.
This month I thought it would be fun to bring you into the world of my book… visually. While some aspects of the story may change and not survive revisions, the overall vibes will stay the same. When writing the first draft, there were times I struggled because I needed to see things visually. Here’s a small peek into the world I’ve been living in while writing this book.
The Last Whisper
Thank you for making it all the way to the end of my haunted little newsletter. If you enjoyed it, I’d love if you replied back, shared it with a friend, or just let me know what you’re reading and watching. Your support means the world to me as I start this author journey.
Before I go, here is your reminder:
Take up more space. Show up as your authentic self. Because when you suppress her, it hurts and cuts deep. You won’t ever be truly happy if you’re being a chameleon to appease the masses.
Cut the people pleaser in you loose. And yes, when you stop people pleasing, people will stop being pleased, and that’s okay.
Start prioritizing self-care every day. Take care of your physical, mental, and emotional health. Do something that brings you joy. Whether that’s reading, dancing, gardening, photography, whatever it is, prioritize it.
Wear whatever makes you feel good. No need to wait for a special occasion. The occasion is you.
When we reclaim our power and know our worth, we become unstoppable. And quite frankly, the world will be a better place.
Shine bright. The world needs your sparkle.
Until next time,
Christina
